Liberal...

 

http://www.cafepress.com/politicalfollies2

Roney Dangerfield...

 

 Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield

    Because he said ... 

                                                                                                                                   
  My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly... They use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night.

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.

Joe Biden...

 

http://www.cafepress.com/politicalfollies2

Obama's Second Term...

 

I AM OBAMA I LIED TO AMERICA AND ALL AMERICANS.
I AM AN ARROGANT BASTARD THAT FEELS I HAVE THE RIGHT
TO MAKE ALL YOUR CHOICES FOR YOU.
I BELIEVE YOU ARE LESS THAN

AN ME AND TO STUPID TO
MAKE YOUR CHOICES FOR YOURSELF.
I DISRESPECT OUR US CONSTITUTION. FOR I AM NOT AN
AMERICAN CITIZEN I HAVE NO LOYALTY TO YOU.
YOUR CONSTITUTION I VIOLATE AT MY PLEASURE.
MY GOAL IS TOTALITARIAN CONTROL OF YOU ALL.

 

 

Three Stooges...

 

Film history was made today as Larry, Moe & Curly began shooting Woman Haters in 1934. This would be the first of 190 shorts The Three Stooges made for Columbia. No one knew at that time how enduring their work would be, how iconic and deeply embedded into American culture they would become and how great their popularity would soar both here and around the globe. Here’s to a million more Nyuks!

Charlton Heston...

 

http://www.cafepress.com/politicalfollies2

Jim Carrey...

 

 

 

Jim Carrey came to the United States as a homeless man from Canada living in a car... he came here to make his life better... and now because he has amassed a degree of money and power he sees fit to criticize our Constitution...  I have a message for Mr. Carrey... your 15 minutes of fame has come and gone... go back to Canada, and find yourself a nicer car to live in.